When the Ex Comes to Visit
by Reyavie
Summary: We have seen what happens when Garrus is faced with Shepard's suitors. How about the other way around?


_AN: This piece was written for Perahn (Peres at ffnet), as a gift for writing me the most awesome Discworld/Dragon Age crossover fic this side of amazing. She requested Nyreen as the 'flexible turian Garrus nailed' and Shepard/Garrus fluff. As usual, I botched it up a bit! Hope you like it, hun. Oh and I know Nyreen bites the dust in the game, I just ignored that detail.  
_

**xxxXXXxxx**

Garrus had been expecting the Normandy to implode on itself at any moment.

It had all started with Shepard's not so secret mission. Eris could be discreet when the situation called for it – her lips would purse, her eyebrows come together a little and she could have been thinking about the consequences of increased Hanar-Asari children demographics for all he knew. Ever since she had returned from her meeting with Aria, that had been her main expression. All questions had been evaded, all comments ignored and no one had managed to rip a word out of her about the subject. Not even him.

Especially not him.

He knew the woman and the Asari in question. One was the very catalyst for every possible explosion (literal and otherwise) wherever she walked; the other was dark, ruthless and stopped at nothing to get what she wanted. Join these two together and every instinct he carried was standing on its edge. Omega was his terrain, his private little hell. He knew it better than Eris did. And more, he knew Aria better than Eris did; how she thought, how she moved, what little respect for the lives of those around her she held.

That was likely the reason which kept Eris particularly tight-lipped. To keep him from interfering with what she deemed as the greater good. He was also, according to her, capable of being an overprotective ass. Trying to protect Shepard from anything was so far down futile that it could be compared to trying to protect oneself from the sun with a fishing net.

Was he annoyed by it? Yes.

Could he do anything to change it? No. Not unless he wanted to sleep next to an attractive woman in her underwear and be told to 'take a cold shower' every time he so much astried touching her.

Eris was a wicked, sadistic woman.

And so he couldn't stop her from leaving, armed to the teeth and a blunt order for them to keep out of her business unless she told them otherwise. This was a fragile alliance, after all. If the woman who killed someone who blinked at her wrong wanted them out of it, then they were out.

The hours passed slowly as they waited. News were bad, lost ships trying to make their way through the Mass Relay while half their space was filled with injured or escape pods. He paced its way through the CIC, ignoring those doing the same or that rest who kept staring. Shepard was their Commander and their lifeguard. When they were kept out of the loop. Well. Garrus could almost taste the worry in the air, ripping apart the competence the space usually transpired.

"She's here. Thank the Goddess." As always, Liara knew before everyone else.

The airlock wasn't even open yet and the entire crew was already standing close by, tense like a bowstring about to snap. A collective breath was released when the first woman entered the ship.

A couple of new injuries were drawn on her already scarred face – where those claw marks? – a heavy limp turning her usual steady pace into an awkward wobbling stride. Safe though; safe, whole and perfect. There was the moment of a breath before he had an arm around her waist, evaluating absently every freckle, wound and scar on her face. Everything in place? Yes? No? Well, call him obsessive but he remembered the last time she had gone anywhere on a mission alone. An entire solar system had gone up in flames. Who had the right to be worried? Yeah, him. Suck it, Shepard.

"You look like shit," he told her honestly. Spirits knew how much she had slept in the last days. Likely an hour or so in some poorly guarded corner.

"I thought about powdering my nose on the way. Gave up when it didn't cover fist-claw fight results." Eris gestured vaguely to her battered face. Her whole body spoke of deep tiredness; his of stress and a deeply seeded wish to shoot Aria. His gloved claw traced her new injuries, cringing at the story they told. "Besides, this wasn't considered a wound next to what other people got."

This comment came from the woman who had described her death in vacuum as a bad case of oxygen deficiency.

Ignoring his wayward thoughts, Eris kissed his cheek quickly before releasing the support he was providing and limping her way to the CIC. "Joker," she began. "I promised a ride to the Citadel to a couple of people. Get them in and settled. They're probably waiting by the airlock for someone just in case we don't think they're invading. God and would someone get me Chakwas? Damnit, one would think a mindless beast wouldn't think of throwing chairs at someone."

Her rambling dissolved into white noise when Joker followed her instructions. Half of Garrus expected Aria to enter – something he was quite happy about. His guns were downstairs but Asari weren't that good at hand to hand combat when caught unaware. A blunt punch to the head would do. The first was actually very expected. The Batarian gave Shepard a nod – and he didn't know what was more miraculous. That any Batarian would take that action towards someone who had killed hundreds of his kind or the way Eris nodded back, even though he was a prime example of creatures who had messed up her life ever since she was thirteen.

A salarian. An Asari who wasn't Aria – damned shame – and was that Nyreen?

Look, it _was_ Nyreen.

Oh Spirits. It was _Nyreen_.

The female turian stopped instead of following the rest of the visitors, small eyes raking all over his figure, straining a little to go past the terrible amount of scaring on his face.

"Vakarian." Her voice hadn't changed. It was still the same low gently tone he remembered, only lacking the youth and the innocence it once had. "It's been a long time."

His brain shifted to the last time he saw her. Then went forward to what Eris's reaction to that scene would be before doing the impersonation of a washing machine and leaving him carelessly blank except for a growing sense of danger.

"When did we see each other last?" Nyreen continued. "The Panama? Just before that insurrection on Hydra. Never saw such a bad case of cabin fever before."

_Don't choke, speak calmly. You can do it, Vakarian. Just an answer without telling Shepard you might have had sex with this woman. Because that doesn't matter. It was before. Long time before. No need for the couch._

"The Rytairk."

He awarded himself one extra point for managing a word most humans couldn't pronounce in his blacked-out state.

"Of course. My mistake." Her eyes trailed again, up and down, mandibles moving imperceptibly into what could be considered a smile.

_Ah, hell._

Out of the corner of one eye, Garrus could see Eris raising a dark eyebrow very slowly. That eyebrow was reading the situation and while, outwardly, nothing seemed wrong and her appearance showed nothing more than the controlled, capable Commander, Garrus had the sudden wish to push the alarm and start screaming 'run for cover, search for escape hatches, women and children first'.

Liara's breathing halted for a moment.

Tali's hand reached to her back and wandered, possibly searching for her missing shotgun.

Joker made a beeline for the cockpit.

Basically, they all knew Eris was teetering on that edge which usually separated her from deep seated control and a big damned mess.

"You know each other."

It wasn't a question. It was a death sentence.

"Yes," Nyreen said simply. Garrus could detect the trace of confusion in her voice, like she didn't know what was so out of the ordinary in the present situation. He didn't remember her being this oblivious. Couldn't she see the subtle way Eris was standing, straighter and straighter, the sudden preannounce to a storm in that twitch of her lips. "I didn't know you two were acquainted, Commander."

"I've been part of her team since the beginning," interrupted Garrus, a prick of annoyance rearing its head from the mist of his anxiety. Where had she been living? Underneath a rock? Not only that – because his accomplishments were well known and a single person coming out from under her hole wasn't that horrible – but having his relationship being described as 'acquaintances' was rubbing him the wrong way.

"You have left the military?"

"I have left C-Sec."

"I'm amazed your father didn't come and get you immediately."

"I'm a grown man; I can make my own choices."

"That you can. You really look good, Vakarian. Except the scars, what happened there?"

When had she come close enough to try and touch them?

A human throat cleared quietly, drawing their attention from the unexpected conversation to the Commander. Shepard – he couldn't think of her as Eris when that blue glow touched her eyes and skin – seemed a little out of sorts – just beyond angry – armored hands carefully closing into fists and then opening. Her eyes were narrowed on his form and, suddenly, he could see eight hours into his future.

It involved that red negligée thing of hers and a biotic punch if he touched her.

"Vakarian. With me."

If he didn't know he was in trouble, Joker's voice on his earpiece singing '_the thought of all the stupid things I've done_' certainly did the trick. Shame about the off-key tone. He could handle dealing with this without a migraine.

**xxxXXXxxx**

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Eris wasn't a scholarly person. According to several of her friends, she took far too much time reading the same facts before they stuck, numbers left her mind as quickly as they entered and science had some issues with making itself known in her brain. She owned, however, a very tactical and logical mind.

"So, Nyreen?"

Good beginning.

"It doesn't matter."

"If it doesn't matter, you can tell me." Why did she have to be _sensible_? "Nyreen?"

"If it doesn't matter why do you want to know?"

"Exchange details about your performance, of course."

His mind fell blissfully silent, the sort of quiet right before he pressed the trigger and the riffle went off. What again? Eris' eyes weren't narrowed anymore. In fact, she looked amused, lips curved into a pretty smile, those dimples lighting up her whole expression giving her an innocent touch she didn't have on a daily basis. Also, it did sound like she was telling him he was a fool. Seemed about right.

"Really, you were looking nervous as hell, Garrus," the Commander continued. "Anyone could see it. Anyone who doesn't know you could see it. I was half expecting the Bran to come over and ask you if you had a bullet lodged in your ass or something."

His girlfriend, the poet.

"Does this mean you're not worried?"

Somehow, that didn't ring just right with him. Considering he had something going with keeping Kaidan from jumping her – _I know you want it, Major_ – and Vega's constant flirting – _though she would eat you and spit you out, just saying_ – it wouldn't hurt if she felt something similar.

"No." Shepard shook her head, her smile gaining that edge that meant someone was in trouble. Shame he was the only one around. "It means I'm not giving it importance until you actually start sparring with her or making out in the elevator." It sounded like a _BAD _thing. "Which, I hope you know, would lead me to space your space your rifle. And then the Thannix. Likely a few other items you've collected."

That felt more like it!

"You would never."

Humor filled his voice, the rich tenor which never failed to make her smile.

"Maybe not the Thannix," she blew lightly on her gloved nails. One day he would have to ask what in the world that meant. "The thing packs a punch. I could use to actually survive through this war."

Laughter bubbled in his throat and Garrus didn't fight it. Shepard could always do this, make him think one thing and then turn it upside down, make him laugh, make him feel happy. No quick meeting would ever replace this.

"I love you."

Her answering smile was wide, warm, forming little curves and wrinkles all over her cheeks. Such a human trait, to show happiness by simply moving her face. Garrus touched his forehead to hers and allowed his worry and consequences of the past fly right out the window. Eris mattered and she knew it. Nyreen did not.

Besides, Turians didn't exactly kiss. And he was quite into it, thank you.

Her lips felt soft and smooth underneath his, the small little pricks which spoke of her silly habit to bite them when bothered, her hands reaching out to entwine behind his crest. He stumbled a little backwards until he found the wall, pushing the woman against it. He suddenly felt very sorry the door was open and his armor was in between. This seemed to be going right the way he wanted it.

"Cockpit during downtime?" Eris's voiced was breathless when he pulled back, red dancing all over her mutable skin. He touched a talon down one of her cheeks, grinning at he felt the slightly higher temperature, grinning even wider – spirits, his scarred mandible looked ready to call it quits if he kept pushing it back – as he noticed her arm carelessly gripping his waist; never mind that the battery door was open ajar for everyone who wished to watch.

"Better than the elevator."

The conversation would have little more than a joke – she had a perfectly decent bed upstairs, after all; no use giving EDI any kind of material for questions neither Eris nor him were ready to answer before they became parents – when they were interrupted.

"You did it on my chair?" Joker helpfully bellowed over his mental ramblings. "What the fuck, Commander?"

The pilot would die before the day was out. His libido guaranteed it.

"You spy on my romantic encounters," Eris yelled back, "You're currently spying on my romantic encounter. Get the fuck out the comm!"

"On my _chair_. You did it on my chair! On my baby! Oh my God, Commander. There won't be enough bleach to save it. I had just broken the damned thing exactly how I liked it! How could you?"

"Inserting A into slot B, that's how." His girlfriend, the romantic. "And if I were you, EDI, I would be offended he speaks of something else as baby."

A little static announced the intervention of said AI.

"Is this part of the female and male romantic interaction?"

"Don't, Commander!"

Erin's smile had that hint he associated with a head-butt.

"Yes."

And he bloody liked it.

"Thank you, Shepard," EDI declared without losing a beat. "I will take into consideration."

A long pause took over the battery, silence stretching and filling the space. And then.

"Hey, Shepard?" Joker started. "I do hate you."

"That's hey, Commander and I hate you, ma'am."

"Still hating, ma'am."

**xxxXXXxxx**

"You wanted to show me he's happy."

The two women sat side by side on the port observatory. Eris had always liked it; it made her feel peaceful, serene, one of the many reasons why she could easily be found there when Samara inhabited the space. Considering the type of life she lead, any moment of peace she stole was welcome. Nyreen had followed like a moth to a flame. After dealing with Aria, they both seemed to need it.

"God, no. He's not a competition." Eris's fingers rested on her stomach, carefully entwined over her uniform. Nyreen hadn't seen her in anything bar those clothes since arriving. "I know he loves me and I know what he had before doesn't matter now, especially when it was focused on stress release. But a little white lie can make someone feel wanted. A little jealousy."

They didn't look at each other. In fact, they barely moved.

"Is that a white lie?" Nyreen asked calmly.

"Pretty much shitting you," came the confirmation. "I'll kick you out if you try to hit on him. I'll space you if he notices."

The door opened, hesitated for a moment before closing as an unknown visitor chose to flee as fast as possible.

"He _would_ take his time to notice."

"I love him but brightest lovebird in the forest, he isn't."


End file.
